mid-life crisis

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about the fact that we were both probably not going to have any more children. She mentioned something about being in a mid-life crisis. I never thought that would happen to me, but as she said those words, I realized, that's exactly what's happening to me. I am in this weird phase of my life. I never wanted to be here, I don't want to be here now, yet I am. My kids keep getting older, and fight as I will, they are all going to be in school darn soon! I have spent some amount of time worrying about this since my oldest was born, and now, it's come much sooner than I would have had it. I am so excited about new prospects, but I'm terrified of the unknown. I have loved having tiny kids around me so very much, that I don't believe I can be happy without it. I always thought that I would have a whole bunch of kids, and that by the time the youngest were in school, I would be ready to move on and do my own thing. But when that didn't happen, I am now entering into this all too quickly. I do love that I'm getting tossed out of my comfort zone, because I know I will grow so much. I feel like I felt when I got on a plane to Paraguay to serve a mission for my church. I've never been so afraid, however, that certainly was, by far and large the coolest thing I've ever done in my life (next to marriage and kids of course.) So, this next phase of life too, will be huge, and wonderful I guess, if I can get my emotions together enough to handle it.